No, I didn’t kill my ex. In typical stripper fashion, she cheated on me – with a customer – and I kicked her out of my house and out of my life. Of course with everything I do, this took a few months and was a long, painful process. But I digress.
In summery, don’t date strippers. Fuck the shit out of them while they’ll let you – watch your money (and your expensive shit around them), and I would suggest using a condom because frankly you never know. STD’s are not fun to have, unexpected kids with retarded bitches are worse.
2. Dancers – You’re better off dating a dancer than a stripper, and hopefully now you can tell the difference between them now. I don’t have much to say on this subject as I’ve never really dated a dancer that only does it as a part-time thing. A lot of them start out with the intention of being part-time, then figure they can make more money going full time and end up fucking themselves into the stripper lifestyle. I wouldn’t suggest NOT dating them or trying to have a meaningful relationship with one, but be careful regardless of what you do. There’s still a 50/50 chance she’s banging other guys behind your back, and will walk off with your laptop, digital camera and your flatscreen if you aren’t paying attention.
3. Entertainers – Now this I do have a bit to speak upon. I have dated a couple entertainers in my time, one of them was awesome and I’m still friends with her today, and the others… not so much. An entertainer is either totally insane at home and sane at work, or just a little bit crazy at home and sane at work.
Doesn’t mean they are bad people, but face it – all women are a little bit crazy.
Most of the girls I have dated are total fucking screwballs outside of work, drugs – alcohol, random sexual partners (until they’re in a relationship), multiple kids from different people, just a hot fucking mess. But when they strap on their stilettos they are in money mode. No bullshit, no drama, no games. A total blast to work with, and not too bad to date. They usually aren’t bad on the eyes either.
A lot of people can’t stand the fact that they date girls who make money off of selling sexuality, so if you can’t tolerate your girlfriend rubbing her ass on guys crotches (through the pants) this isn’t for you. Just walk away now unless you have a ton of money, even then these girls look out for themselves first and don’t want to be reliant on someone else to pay their bills.
4. Escorts – What can I really say about this one? I dated a girl a few years ago that was an “Escort.” Reality of the situation was; she worked at a One-On-One club, gave private dances to guys that were naked and usually jerking themselves off, and limited herself so that she was okay with the guys doing what they were doing as long as they didn’t touch her. This was the ONLY reason I had a serious relationship with her. I had the benefit of working with her at this club, and she actually only worked on my shifts (just happened like that) so I was able to know everything that was happening behind closed doors.
The first time her and I hooked up, she dragged this new girl into the office, asked if they could “practice” a two girl session, and I was in no position to say no. A threesome ensued and the rest was history. It was one of the craziest moments I’ve ever had at work (not THE craziest, but certainly top ten) and her and I started talking more afterward and hung out, which lead to a short-term dating relationship. Not a horrible experience but she is really the exception to the rule that is that escorts really do fuck. I can’t remember how or why it ended, but we were still cool after all was said and done, and remained friends until things just kind of trailed off into oblivion. I stopped working at the club and lost touch with her.
The other girl was a little different. She was in her 40s (I was 21 at the time) and loved young meat. Me, being the youngest person she had regular access to, was a prime candidate for her to sink her cougar teeth into, and we started hanging out and hooking up outside of work. She was a little more liberal with her clients, and depending on the money had a “no holes barred” approach to each situation. This didn’t really bother me either, but it was a little less comfortable knowing the girl I was seeing was banging other people. Her and I still keep in touch to this day, although the extracurricular activities have been dormant for a couple of years. Not a big deal, I’m probably too old for her now anyway.
The thing is with these girls, a lot of the time you don’t know what to believe. Most of them have money for sex, and it doesn’t matter if you give it to them directly or through buying them things – you’re going to get what you’re going to get and you have no idea how to tell if they’re being real with you or not. One thing is for sure, if you treat it more like a booty call than dating (i.e. stop spending money around them) and they stick around, chances are you’re actually having a relationship with this person as opposed to just being an ATM with a dick.
Take these relationships for what they’re worth. Take your cape off, don’t try to save-a-hoe and just enjoy them while they last. If they don’t have a pimp it means they’re smarter than they let on, they know what guys want and they know that by giving it to them, they can get what they want too.
5. Porn Stars – these girls are people too. Just like any other part of the industry there are girls that are super, super crazy, and then there are normal girls who are just using it as a means to an end, or maybe they really enjoy what they do. A lot of us can sit there and think “Accounting must be boring as fuck” but there really are people who go out and do it and enjoy it, much like being in Porn. They don’t look at it as degrading or demeaning, they just like money and sex and know how to capitalize on their good looks.
I can’t give too much detail about this as I’ve never really dated a “Porn Star,” But I can tell you that like any other woman, just pay attention to what’s going on. If you think you’re getting played, you probably are. If the girl is willing to be normal around you and isn’t putting on a show – you’re probably having a genuine relationship.
6. Adult Models – Depending on what they are doing, you could be in for a normal relationship or a really wild ride. These girls range from normal chicks who look good and love to model, to girls with super low self esteem that need constant reassurance from a photographer, and are willing to get naked just to get compliments. From implied nude to spread nude, they really run the range of mild to wild but don’t quite cross over into what (some) people would consider porn.
You can pretty much tell right when you get them talking about their photoshoots what they’re about. If they show you what they do and they can actually model, good for them. If they have worked with a few photographers and just can’t seem to get it right, and they really don’t look like they know what they’re doing – you’re kind of fucked and might as well walk away.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating this type of girls. They’re usually pretty fun, and who doesn’t want to date a model? But, on the flip side, the ones with low self esteem will need constant compliments to even function, much like you need to put gas in your car, truck, or scooter. It all depends on how much you can put up with.
One of the models I dated was a complete whore. If I wasn’t getting 50 text messages in a row, I was getting phone call after phone call. Seemed like every time she thought of something new to tell me – my phone was ringing. Then there was the “let’s look at my pictures again.” I sent them to you, my dear, you can look at them any time you want. I go through a photoset, edit it, go through it again and delete pictures I didn’t notice that I didn’t care for the first time, and that’s about it. I don’t want to look at the same pictures over and over again. Then it started where she started fucking other people. At first not a big deal as we weren’t exclusive, but you’d figure that if you were getting literally thousands of text messages a month that person wouldn’t even have time to be with other people. I told her pretty frankly that if we were having unprotected sex with each other (both were clean when things started out) I wasn’t interested in taking the risk of getting something, but I was fine if she wanted to sleep around. I just wasn’t going to stick around. Things obviously didn’t end too well, but I’ve now put that past me and think I’m better off not dealing with the bullshit. That’s the FAR FAR end of the crazy spectrum, you hopefully won’t have the same experience.
Take it, soak it in… and if you have any questions use the contact form above and I’ll get back to you eventually.
November 8th, 2011 at 2:57 am
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